Consent is a concept that has received a lot of media attention over the past months and provided the school with the impetus to reflect on our wellbeing programs. Evidence of where respectful relations, in turn, consent, is taught in each of the year levels is shared on the year level POD page. The flow diagram below illustrates how our programs contribute to respectful relationships:
A key aspect of teaching consent is to teach children to have the confidence to say ‘no’ to their peers. Through the teaching of our anti-bullying program, we ensure our students know easy phrases and actions they can use if not comfortable, for example, putting their hand out like a stop sign and saying "stop, I don’t like that".
We are now helping students to make the link with words they use to stop bullying that can also be used in other situations when a child feels uncomfortable. Also, we encourage students to talk to a trusted adult if anything happens that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Group Chats
Group chats with friends is an area that children need guidance in, in relation to demonstrating respectful relations. Kirra Pendergast, online safety expert, recommends for children under 13 years using group chat need to be supervised by strict parental controls and vigilant parents. As she states, “group chats can be where drama, nasty behaviours, exclusion, cancel culture and bullying can thrive”. At school, we help children build intellectual muscle by teaching them the life skill of politely exiting a social situation that they feel uncomfortable in, both online and off. I encourage parents to support us by doing the same thing at home and to check your child’s online history on a regular basis.
In summary she offers the following valuable tips:
Helping young people take control
Keep group chats positive, helpful, and supportive. These are not places where we have a whinge about someone else, reveal our intimate secrets, send inappropriate images or create drama, gossip, or spread rumours.
Teach your child how to leave
Often kids are in multiple chats at once. If the chat is getting toxic, bullying is happening or images circulated, or anything that may be deemed illegal, take a screenshot and log out, so they do not find themselves in a “guilty by association” situation if something gets reported. Sometimes they have got no other option but to leave a group chat - the notifications have become too much, the conversation has become increasingly irrelevant, and their phone has become cluttered with too many group chats for them to keep across them all.
Make sure they know they should not feel compelled to respond straight away or be a part of every single interaction.
Leaving a group chat without warning can offend the remaining group members and become an awkward situation for our text-obsessed generation.
Teach them the skills to know how to leave a group chat that is not helpful or is harmful in any way, including the actual words to use should they need to leave. Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a significant factor in a tween/teen’s life, so you will need to navigate around that as well.
Kids have come up with statements such as “sorry guys, this is getting pretty nasty, I am out of here” as words they can use when they need to remove themselves. However, not all kids have that confidence, and many would prefer to remove themselves from the chat. Again, not always easy for young kids, but we do want them to always be in charge of their online interactions and how those interactions may affect their reputation and digital footprint.
Remember that just because there are only six participants in a private chat does not mean that the chat will remain private. There are plenty of ways these chats can become very public.
These are just a few tips, if you would like more information you can follow up through this link: .
Year 6 parents and students are being offered an eight-module course through the eSmart Digital Licence and we strongly encourage parents to complete it along side your child.
Angela Drysdale